First Wednesday in Great Lent
Kathisma 2 (Psalms 9-16)
“In judgment hath He prepared His throne, and He Himself will judge the world in righteousness; He will judge the peoples in uprightness.” (Psalm 9)
St. John of the Ladder writes in his Ladder of Divine Ascent, Step 7: “When you pray and plead, tremble like a convict standing before a judge. The way you look and the disposition of your heart may overcome the anger of the just Judge. He will not turn away from the widowed soul standing before Him, burdened with sorrow and wearying the Tireless One (cf. Luke l8:5).”
Christians are often reminded by the Lord that earthly life comes to an end and that judgment awaits every living soul. Those who are wise are mindful of this truth, and it produces not a morbid sense of doom but instead a great wisdom. Moses writes in Psalm 89: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” It is for wisdom that Christians learn to keep judgment ever before their eyes. The one who is dying is not easily roused to anger, but seeks to be at peace with all men. He is quick to forgive wrongs committed against him and even searches out those against whom he has sinned, that he may ask forgiveness of them.
Death and impending judgment may drive you to fear of punishment, but this will blossom into holiness. It becomes transformed into a knowledge of what we have lost and how far we have fallen from true fellowship with our King and Maker. Fear may produce tears, but an experienced and perceptive judge will not be fooled by them. True and holy tears are those of fear mingled also with desire for life with God. Holy tears mourn the relationship with God that should be and has not been… and is not yet.
Holy tears reach toward God Himself with desire and longing mingled with humility and unworthiness. “I desire Him above all things, and yet unworthy as I am, surely He will never be mine, nor I His,” says the heart that sheds holy tears. Yet it is Christ Himself who comes to claim you for Himself! He lifts up the lowly and comforts the mourner. He speaks peace to those who fear Him as the Righteous Judge, but He reserves His anger for those who have no fear or love of God and no love of neighbor in themselves.
St. John of the Ladder goes on to say: “Tears over our death produce fear, but when fear begets fearlessness, then what a joy comes dawning! When joy is without interruption, holy love comes blossoming forth.”
